Bet? Don’t bet?

Can you bet on your intuition? There I was about to put a bet on the Kentucky Derby. As a kid during race season, I used to watch the Thoroughbred Horse Races on the TV every Saturday with a school friend of mine. We would come in from playing outside, put on the black and white 18 inch TV and watch those horses run. Saw Secretariat win the Triple Crown. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I know someone that is a distant relative to the owners of Orb who was running in the Kentucky Derby.  So my interest in horse racing was rekindled.

How Do You KNOW for Sure

It was few hours before the race. A feeling came over me. A calm, relaxed, slightly excited, warm feeling. I thought, “I’ll put in a $100 bet on Orb.” Then I doubted myself. “Oh,no. I better not. I might loose $100.” Isn’t that what happens to you? You get a gut feeling, that intuitive hit, and you  doubt yourself.

I was at a meeting yesterday with 30 women and our task was to talk about Sincerity. Three of the women at my table were in banking. They had to make accurate judgement calls about the information people gave them in regards to giving a loan or not giving a loan. One loan officer mentioned often using intuition BUT talked about second guessing it. With a bit discomfort she felt she had to say, “Well, you know, I am not always right.”  That’s what we’ve been taught – to doubt ourselves. As we went around the table, it was revealed that it is when we don’t listen to our gut that we end up making bad choices.

When you have an intuitive hit and then let your head start talking yourself into something and out of something based on the fear of loss, then bad decisions are made. The banker might  ”loose a customer,” I might “loose $100.”

And the Winner is…

So, that that fateful Saturday afternoon, another feeling come over me – warm, calm, no conflict kind of feeling. “I want to place a bet on Orb. A $100 feels right.”  But then, “Oh, I’m just being silly. What if I’m wrong. I could loose it.” You guessed it. Orb won the Kentucky Derby. 6 -1 Odds. I could of had $600! Darn! But that is not all. The Preakness was last Saturday. Orb was the odds on favorite. With odds at 1-1 , I had to combine him winning with another horse coming in second to make any money. I picked Mylute.

This time my feeling was different. I don’t have that calm, easy feeling that just KNOWS. I had a tenseness in my gut instead. I’m thinking, “How can I not bet? I have to bet.” I just want this tightness to go away so I can feel good about betting. It doesn’t go away. BUT I bet anyway. This time the loss is, “What if I don’t bet and he wins again. I could loose out on having that extra money.”  I even went to the Off Track Betting (OTB) site to place my bet. I talked with people there to teach me how to place a bet. At the ATM machine where I about to get some cash to make my bet, I hear a guy talking about how at the last minute he doubted himself and didn’t bet on Orb for the Derby. I blithely say, “Trust your gut!” and  then I bet even though I felt up tight.

The Winner is Not …

You guessed it again. Orb was not the winner. He came in 4th and Mylute came in 3rd. The truck driver standing to me who was a regular at OTB said, “Did you hear me a few minutes ago? I said, ‘Anyone who bets on 6 and 9 is going to go home a happy man.’ I should have listened to myself!”  Both he and I lost money not listening to our gut, our precious intuition.

The Tell-Tale Sign

Your intuition is that knowing feeling. It is a sense of power and calm. A bit of warmth comes with it.  There is no fuss about it. It is a moment that needs to be honored and trusted. On the other hand, when you have gut ache, a tightness and need to use logic to override that gut ache to get yourself to do or not to do something based on fear of loss, then you make poor choices. For business success, use you intuition as a great business strategy. Listen and act.

You can bet on your intuition? 100% of the time!

No Dust Binning

Giving ourselves credit, I mean really allowing ourselves the pleasure of knowing how fabulous we are, is a foreign idea to most people.  Acknowledgement of who we are or what we have achieved is like a hot potato that we can’t hold on to. We quickly throw ourselves in the Dust Bin. “I got my website up this week, BUT I only got one blog posted.”  ”The kids actually cleaned their rooms on their own without my nagging. I SHOULD have been doing this years ago.”  ”I closed five sales this week. I feel like a failure. My co-worker closed seven.”  Just as you were making progress, you negated all that you had done. When you say BUT that obliterates everything you said before the BUT. The SHOULD imposes at worst, judgement and at best, obligation on the situation at hand. Comparing yourself to another takes away valuing the gains that you have made.

Are you a Dust Binner?

You may think, “So what is the problem? I do need to do better, get more done. I can’t rest on my accomplishments. I’ll never get anywhere.” Actually, the fastest way to move forward and have business success is to stop and acknowledge yourself. Literally, stop. Breathe three deep breathes. Take in what you HAVE done. As you breath in  say to yourself, “Good for me I got my website up.” or “All by themselves, the kids cleaned their room!” or “Bravo for me. Five sales this week!” By acknowledging yourself and breathing in all that you have done, you allow your body to transmit the message to your Limbic Brain (fight or flight brain). Now, instead of only having messages about “Not Good Enough,” it has new material to work with. It now can process, “Good Enough. Good Enough. Good Enough!” Layer upon layer, your successes can influence how you manage the next incidence that arises. A great business strategy is honoring the progress you have made. These successes gives your brain a new reference point to grow from.

Rejoice!

There is Nothing to Fix.
Just More of  You to Discover.

Weak Spot for a Week

I committed to an hour a day for a week to clean out my closet. Some days that hour slipped into two as I sorted, folded, boxed and discarded. There were not just clothes but files, book, documents, notebooks all that contained my life, my evolution, moments in time. It was a walk through history of where I was 10 , 5, 2 years ago. Houses bought  and sold, courses on spirituality, notebook after notebook filled with pages of  my path to who I am today.

Then the clothes bought on sale, at the thrift store, last minute in a panic, with my sister, when lonely…choices made reflecting me in that moment. You know about the outfits where you get them home and a day later ask yourself, “What Was I thinking!” Others that you found hiding in the Goodwill bin that you know cost someone a pretty penny, “Good deal!” Memories triggered with Mom’s satin navy blue Christmas skirt kept since her passing in 1994.   “Marty,” she would say, “freedom through discipline.” Oh, how I rebelled – knowing full well that she was right! Time. Time to let go and get going.

Commitment

Marcia Wieder’s book Dreams are Whispers from the Soul recounted an experience of one of her clients. “One hour a day, complete what you are doing before you move on to something else.”  As an artist, the client responded, “It’s going to stifle my creativity.” Marcia countered, A little structure allows for more creativity.”  Her client’s sentiments went from, Day one: “I hate this.” to Day Five: “This is amazing. I feel lighter and got so much done.”

Clean a Corner This Week

Just start somewhere.

• First: Take an overview of the area you want to organize.
• Determine what kinds of resources you need to store and sort your things, file cabinets, file folders, labels, business card holders, BIG garbage bags and a cheer leader
• Get a friend, hire an organizer to be there with you to cheer you on to be your encourager , “If you haven’t worn it in 6 month, throw it out!”, to put the labels on the files, to laugh and cry at the memories
• Start with one corner, one piece. Create your idea folders: None; Next Week; 1st of the Month Review; garbage. Focus for an hour. Stop.
• Take the garbage bag to the curb
• Take clothes to a thrift shop – give some away, others put on consignment or find a Dress for Success program to help people feel great when they go to their interview for a job
• Rejoice

Happy Dance

Celebrate your new beginning. Make space for the new. Feel accomplished and know where to find that business card or that brilliant idea that you knew you had somewhere! . Each day focus for one hour.

Ok, I admit it. “You were right mom. Freedom through discipline.”

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Have You Been Feeling It?

Have you been feeling it? The tug and pull of the pain of not stepping into your power getting more intense. The frustration is building as you KNOW you can be doing more, earning more, making the difference you want in the world.

When we don’t actualize, develop, nurture our Talents, Abilities and Gifts (TAGs), the hurt inside builds. Have you noticed  how you are hurting more and wondering why? I have been, that is for sure. There are times that I hurt so much that I want to rip open my body and step out of it like snake sheds its skin. When “the goods” – Talents, Abilities and Gifts (TAGs) – are trapped inside, they wants to bust out! How about for you? Is the pain of you not expressing those brilliant, imaginative, creative, daring, playful, profound, influential, meaningful, inventive talents, abilities and gifts been intensifying?

Wisdom of Our Times

My good friend, mentor and coach, Luis Garcia, Jr, has an understanding and wisdom about what is happening for us at this time our evolution. I was relieved to hear there was reason everything seems so intense and also put on notice that it is time get with it. We are to express our creativity in its fullest NOW. No more messing around. Luis says, “All fears that stand in the way of this will be faced. For this is the point of no return! ..From this point forward it is going to be the real deal. We are no longer preparing to express the creative self. The preparation is over. It is time to do so.”

Delightful Pleasure

If we do not choose to honor and value our TAGs, then the pain will deepen. What is cool is that when we do step into our power and have the pleasure of expressing the very essence of who we are – our Talents, Abilities and Gifts – the sense of pleasure will be equally intense and delicious! It will be pleasure like you have never felt before!  Luis reminds us, ”You will know where you stand because your feelings (your inner compass) will inform you by generating pain or pleasure to let you know where you are.”

Your Time Is NOW

Wondering how to identify your TAGs – Talents, Abilities and Gifts?  Questioning if you even have any? You are not alone. What to find out more? Contact me and we’ll take a look. You will be amazed at all the TAGs you have just waiting to be discovered and expressed.  Guess what? What you do the easiest (Ability) is what you get paid the most for! Your Talents, those are your business skills that lead to business success! Your Gifts, those are what you share with the world that makes you the big bucks and feeling great!

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GIVE A  D.A.M.N. About You

Desire to be alive, passionate about your life and making meaningful connections.

Alchemist of feelings, listen to the information your feelings have to offer and know exactly what to do next.

Mature, develop and honor your Talents, Abilities, and Gifts so that you have more tools in your Success Toolbox to pick from. Feel great about yourself knowing you have what it takes to be a success.

Negotiate with yourself to get to know who you are on an intimate level. Be aware of your feelings and how you will integrate your TAGs into all you do. Feel more and more vital and alive.

Illusive Self-Love

Self-love. What is that all about anyway?  What would it really look like and how do I find it. Each of us has had someone say to them as some point along the way, “If you would just love yourself, you would have it all.”  You might respond, “Great. Got it! I have been chasing that for years. Some moments I  find it and loose it just as quickly. How do I sustain it and really feel that appreciation for myself? ”

Win the Prize

Most of us have been raised to value what the environment values as worthy of praise and applause. We have been promised the “prize” of a happy life, good money and sustained marriage IF, and only IF, we would do it “their” way. They could be parents or society, or an organization. What ever the influence, we judge ourselves from the outside in rather than appreciating ourselves from the inside out.

The if…THEN of Self-Love

If…(whatever the achievement  – client sells their house,  have the BMW, children are happy, write the book, get the promotion, mother/father says ,”I love you”) THEN I”ll Love Myself. With this we are relying on the environment to let us know when are Good Enough, Lovable. No matter how many kudos we receive, have you noticed, it is never quite enough to fill that hole of emptiness and doubt.

This Moment of Self-Love

Self-love is all about honoring and valuing the very essence of who you are– your Talents, Abilities and Gifts (TAGs). There is no other way to fill the holes that life creates than to fill yourself up with you.  The you I am talking about is the expression of the Talent you have for _________ (singing, organizing, cooking, painting, teaching, writing…) that expresses your Ability  to be ____________(creativity, analytical, inventive, have a sense of color, imagination, empathy…) that delivers your Gift of _______(an inspiring song, successful event, delightful meal, eye catching canvas, happy children, lyrical poem…) to the world.   As you value each aspect of who you are and honor the gift you give the world, you will, little by little, begin to fill those holes with you. Knowing how Talented, Able and Gifted you are, you can’t help but love yourself.

      There is nothing to fix. Just more of you to discover.

 Photo Credit The Edible Goddess

“It is embarrassing, but I don’t know my value.” What an honest statement. In one way or another , successful entrepreneurs  ask the question, “What am I worth?” or “What do I charge?” everyday. On some level, we feel not worthy, not valuable, not deserving and yet, can’t pin point why. It keeps us from asking for what we want out of life and to value the work we do.

With so many people asking me, “How do I determine my value? How do I know what I am worth?” I began to explore the topic more carefully. It easy to give the quick answer, “Of course your valuable. Just charge more so people think you are worth more.” But then, then there is the more important question, “What does value even mean…like really mean? It is one thing to think in terms of money (important) and  then there is who AM I and who do I believe I am? How do I show the world and more importantly, show me,I value myself?”

What is my Value?

Recently, I was working with a client who was frustrated because for months he had wanted to figure out, “What is my value?” He had come to a cross-road and had a major decision to make: take a job that was below his former status and risk water cooler chatter about how he must be down on his luck or not take the job because of not wanting to look bad even though he was in a financial position where he needed the money.

 Humility as Your Best Friend

I asked him, “What if Humility showed up as your best friend to teach you where your real value lies. As your best friend, Humilty is encouraging you to feel your embarrassment, shame, and vulnerability at being in a very challenging financial position so that space can open up for possibilities.”

Know What You Want

You see, they wanted him. He had to decide if he wanted them. We had listed all his criteria for he wanted his life to look like – 150K or more, time and freedom to be with family and friends and to travel, to do what he loves, and be of integrity with himself.

He chose to embrace humility, feel embarrassed and ashamed and to really feel it. When the feeling had dissipated, there was a space for him to make a conscious decision about whether or not to take the job.

Speak Your Truth

Aware of a new sense of self and knowing exactly what he wanted, he met with the owners one more time. They made him a solid offer but before he said yes, he allowed himself to be vulnerable. He wanted to make sure he was going to get what was important to him – time freedom, financial security, time with family and friends. He opened up and discussed each of his wants and why they were important to him.

Result? He got everything he asked for and more. They wanted him to do the job that was below his former status because they are grooming him to be COO of the company. They want him to learn the business from the ground up. “Thank you humility for showing up!”

Doing What Honors You

By listening to his feelings, honoring himself by defining exactly what he wanted and speaking his truth, acknowledged how much he actually does value himself. There is no greater expression of your value than listening to yourself and doing what honors you.

Photo Credit livingsu.syr.edu

One Foot One the Gas and One on the Break

It is a scientific fact, what you resist persists. Have you noticed that? What you say you don’t want, that you can’t stand, that you hate most, keeps showing up? The harder you run from what you don’t want, the closer you come it. It is as if you had one foot on the gas and one on the break. You spin in a circle. The more you want business success, the further away it seems.

The  Universe is very generous that way. It will give you time after time to experience the same lesson over until you REALLY get the lesson you are avoiding. The longer you put the lesson off,  the more painful the lesson becomes. Why? Through the doorway of your greatest resistance is your greatest reward and the Universe wants you to have what it is you really want.

The pain is there only to awaken you to that aspect of yourself that is the exact thing that you need to develop and nurture to have what you desire. The greater your resistance, the greater the reward on the other side. Resistance is really your ally there to motivate you fulfill your greatest wish.

Allowing yourself to do the very thing that you are avoiding is how you overcome procrastination and have more pleasure in your life.

A Great Procrastination Tip

The truth is that resistance is suppressed pleasure! Imagine that. The pleasure of expressing who you are to your fullest.  When you feel resistant, you are disconnected from your abilities that are there waiting to be experienced.

Let’s say you are greatest desire is to have your message reaching more and more people, to make a name for yourself in your niche. Right now, let’s say what you are resisting is learning marketing. The ability you may be suppressing is your creativity, imagination, inventiveness that is lying dormant just waiting to be expressed in your unique way. Imagine the pleasure you could have  in taking the time to learn how to do Pinterest and find some fun pictures to post, or Facebook and make some great connections, or join a group on Linkedin and feel connected. Just one lesson at a time you could begin to unlock your creative expression. The reward? You could have both feet on the gas and see your business grow.

Ask Yourself

What am I resisting? _________________________

What is the reward I will receive if I allow myself the pleasure of doing _____________?

What potential would that unleash?__________________________

What other possibilities would open up for me? Monetarily?_____________Creatively?_______________Personally?_______________________

Picture Credit http://show.com 

Enjoy the FREE AUDIO  

Easter and Passover

This week people around the world are celebrating a renewal, a rebirth, a freedom from what has held them back. There is time of deep reflection – darkness – and then a time of celebration – light.

This Sunday Jesus Christ’s resurrection from the dead after three days will be celebrated by Christians. For Jews, this is the time of Passover commemorating their liberation over 3,300 years ago by God from slavery in ancient Egypt that was ruled by the Pharaohs, and their birth as a nation under the leadership of Moses.

Resistance to Re-Birth

Resurrection and Liberation are both powerful and significant metaphors for our own journeys. To resurrect and free yourself,  look at where you feel dead, not alive and where you are imprisoning yourself. Take time this week to awaken your creative energy, to see where you are holding yourself back from stepping into your power.

You can rise up from where you are deadening yourself and come out of the darkness into the light by looking at where your greatest resistance lies. Is it in really getting a handle on marketing? Or taking that salsa class that you have always wanted to enjoy? Or to tell someone it is time to part?  Just on the other side of the door of your greatest resistance is your greatest reward!

Challenge to Resurrection and Freedom

Know that every challenge you face is a form of resurrection and a freeing of you from the past because when you are on the other side of the challenge, you are not the same person you were before. Imagine leaving the old and coming into the new, you will feel refreshed revitalized and, more importantly, alive and free!

Photo Credit :  http://www.beitsimcha.org

Word Vigilante

Be a word Vigilante. Listen for how often you use words to do with resistance: ” I am fighting…,” “I need to combat…,” “Me? I am against…” It is the very thing/person that we are fighting that would better serve us if we would just align with it. It is in our nonresistance that the wisdom comes.

Gut Feeling

Ultimately, it is us that we are battling. We have a gut feeling about something, an intuition, an inner knowing. We feel a tingle of excitement, a sense of security, a moment of solidness, an”Oh, I got it!”

Like a Flash of Lightning

And then the rumbling begins, distant and then closer. Thoughts of ,”Who am I to know this?”  ”What if I am wrong? How will I look?”  In an instant, like a flash of lightning that strikes as if from no where and destroys, doubt strikes and steals our sense of security. We don’t act at all or decide on another alternative that we think will keeps us safe. Keeps us looking good. Or does it?

Missed Opportunities

Haven’t you found that in fact you have missed opportunities or after going with the  crowd, you later discovered you were right after all. How safe can we be if are abandoning ourselves? Even if we are blazing a trail and are out there all alone, if we have ourselves, then we have the most important person on our side.

Courage

Courage is needed. The courage to let the chips fall where they may. You trust you and go with your gut feeling and for you that will be the right answer. What others think of you…well, it is actually none of your business!

Trusting Yourself

Trusting you, honoring and valuing who you are and the wisdom that lies with in,
takes courage and nonresistance. When you give in to you, surrender to how wise and powerful you are, there lies the answer and your peace of mind.